Defragging my brain

I am losing my life. Past 3 weeks have been hell for me. Going through submission after resubmission after resubmission of the deliverable. Working 12 hour days everyday, with no time for my personal life and also my family. The work has make me so terrible a person that I even ignore those people closest to me. I become harsh with them. I go cranky, I go crazy. I totally give too much of my time and energy to my work that i forget the people close to me beside me crying for my attention and my love. Now I let it all out. I feel better but then my brain is still stuffed with so many things now that I need to sit in front of the computer to trash it all out and try to make sense of it all. Some more with the big bombshell that was dropped recently that make me realize how cruel this world is. They say that life is suffering, but always we think about it in a intellectual point of view. Only when I really experience it for myself then I really can agree with this statement. Recently life has been nothing but suffering. So much so that the people whom I love really can see the bad difference that has happened to me. I become easily agitated. I start scolding people and using really harsh words and tones. I don't bother about the world and the people around me. I am internalizing all my problems and stop all communication with the outside world. People misunderstand me. People misinterpret me. People think I am trying to avoid things. They think I am deliberately shutting myself out. But that is all happening on a subconscious level. Somehow being the Phlegmatic that I am, I try not to cause or be involved in any major confrontation. I try to just let it be and go with the flow and try to be happy go lucky about things. But when the depression really sinks in, that's where my Melancholic behaviour comes out. I start to keep all my feelings to myself. The outside world does not know what I think. I become a walking wall of silence. Nobody hears what I have to say. Because I don't say it. I expect the world around me to know what I am thinking but I don't want them to know. I feel as if I am bottling up all my emotions and hopefully they will dissolve into nothing. But sometimes the feelings are just too much. All the pent up energy has to be released somehow. And so the explosion begins. I feel as if all the pent up feelings released suddenly like a torrent of tsunami rushing through all the barriers, tearing down all the protection that I put around me to shield myself from the realities of life. I release myself to the world. I show my true face. And people around me notice me. Finally. I am now recognized. People know my predicament. But how long can it last? Before long I am back to my normal mode of operation. So, in the end I am back to square one. Nobody will know me as long as I am Melancholic. And I choose not to let anyone know by my Phlegmatic nature. Melancholic Phlegmatic is very potently dangerous. I always need a Sanguine person next to me to cheer me up. And so I have that someone. But sometimes that Sanguine becomes a Choleric and that's where I am scared. But somehow I can survive. Because those 2 traits actually help to balance me and offer me a differing point of view. So I become a better person because of this. There's just so many things happening in my mind now, that I can't seem to write anything more concrete. These past few days I have been operating on auto pilot. I don't even have time to stop and think about what I am doing, how I am talking, or what other people think of me. I was so hypnotized and engrossed by my desire to complete my deliverable that I choose to ignore all the realities of the world and concentrate on my internal workings to complete my task. Now I take a step back, and realize how foolish I have been. Finally I have released my energy, and I will be reclaiming my life back from the world. I want to be back in control of my life. I want to be in control of the people whom I love. I want to be alive again. Give me back my life!