Nee Sern is...

really really sleepy

Friday, September 02, 2005

Aggressive vs Passive

How do you handle a situation where your boss is an aggressive person? If he always bullies you into doing all his work, do you fight back aggressively, or do you accept it unwillingly, passively?

Being aggressive - violating other people's rights
Being passive - sacrificing your own rights
Assume that you respond aggressively, shouting at him and scolding him for passing on his own responsibilities to you. Your boss would subsequently be angry for being shouted at, and you will probably be in his bad books for a long time.

OK, then suppose that you respond passively, quietly accepting his bullying, completing all the tasks thoroughly. You sacrifice many nights of well deserved sleep in the name of completing his job! The next day, your boss will probably give you more to do!

Either way, you are at the losing end.

So what can you do?

Be assertive.

Being assertive is being neither aggressive nor passive. You are not violating other people's rights, nor are you sacrificing your own. Sounds ideal, right?

How do you deal with an aggressive boss assertively?

1) Respect him as an individual.
2) Thank him for the opportunity.
3) Assertively decline the offer, stating your reasons.

Chances are, your boss will see that you are not somebody who can be bullied easily. Nor are you the type of person who will flare up and create a mess out of the situation.

Chances are, in the future, you will be well respected by your boss, and you may end up with good opportunities to be noticed and rewarded for your principle-centered approach towards the working world.

Of course, easier said than done, right? Which is why, we need to find some avenues to practice all this theory. Being a theoretical master is good, but being a master of practice will bring you great respect and personal satisfaction.

So, go find an aggressive person to talk with today!

6 comments:

Nee Sern said...

alex, thanks for your view.

you talk about an ideal situation where the players are all mature. the "assertive" approach deals with people who are basically hard headed and unwilling to conform.

Jyon said...

i just met my new pm yesterday, and his first words of "leadership" to me was...i am a people person and i will talk to everyone...

and all i can say to myself was DOH!

Nee Sern said...

jyon... hehehe good luck "converting" your pm

alex... being assertive does not mean fighting fire with fire...but rather, it means to put out the fire.

MJ said...

this post reminds me of the Nadi camp I went, training for Sukom volunteer. Trainer was teaching us to be "assertive" and not aggressive. Maybe they also mentioned passive. Couldn't remember the whole session, just remembered to always be assertive with all people, wether they're locals or foreigners. Dont use double standard (ie. be super polite with matsalleh but dun care for orang sendiri). Probably the point was to transmit the message across to receiver thru any form of communication.

Vocal teacher taught last night (when giving a presentation) -
1) eye level look in front
2) spine straight
3) little smile at all times
4) confidence!!!
5) hands on the side
6) dont move your head / body!!! (ahem, this is a reminder for me esp becos I couldn't stand still for 1 second!)

Jyon said...

i think the next training should be conducted by mj on her vocal training thingy...

we shud meet up more often to talk abt ideas and self improvement

Nee Sern said...

wat is the training for tomoro night?