LCCT shortcomings not Air Asia's fault...

The writer of this letter has very valid grouses against Air Asia, particularly in terms of staff attitude and flight delay handling. In fact, I believe Air Asia should properly retrain their ground staff in basic customer service, courtesy and interpersonal communication. As for their cabin crew, I have no complains.

However, the writer then links the shortcomings of the LCCT to Air Asia, where I believe that this is not valid. In the first place, Air Asia never asked to operate out of LCCT. They would have been happy to operate out of KLIA (if not for the ridiculously high operating charges and constant pressure from the airport authorities). In fact, they actually asked to operate out of the old Subang Airport, but was given all sorts of excuses that prevented them from doing so. (Ironically, Fireflyz now operates out of Subang Airport with no restraints!)

Anyway, LCCT management is not synonymous with Air Asia management. LCCT is operated by Malaysia Airports Berhad (MAB) and so any complaints about "crowded, uncomfortably hot and stuffy terminal" and "used toilet paper all over the floor" should be directed against MAB, and not Air Asia.

Mamma Mia! rocked the house!

I can see now why Mamma Mia! is such a bestselling show. The music is infectious. The costumes are meticulous. The lighting and sound productions are world class. The singing is amazing. The dancing - spectacular. In short, all ingredients to a perfect brew of West End glamour.

In terms of singing performance, the live musical outperforms the movie version. But in terms of scenery and editing, of course the motion picture has its advantages. Both stand equally firm on their own strengths and weaknesses. But it's hard to say which was the better experience. 

Having said that, nothing beats a live show, especially with music involved, especially with ABBA music!

whole body aching...

...didn't realize that moving is such a tiring experience... and this was with full force help from my family... imagine if it were only myself!

The process started actually on Monday. We did some house cleaning and cleansing, and put up all the curtains. Meanwhile I went to get the Buddha rupa from Sukhi Hotu, and brought it to Maha Vihara for blessing ceremony. After lunch, Uncle Yap came over with the fridge and washing machine, and also Astro installation. With everything over, we went for a quick dinner in Asia Cafe. Then, we went back to pack up the remaining stuff and dismantle the bed for transportation.

Early the next morning, we had the fire crossing ceremony, and then I proceeded to setup the altar for the Buddha image. After that happened, we patiently waited for the lorries to arrive. Soon, IKEA delivery arrived, carrying the wardrobe, TV rack, work table and bookcase system to my upstairs library and master bedroom. While the assembly service was going on, the delivery lorry arrived with all our stuff, and unloading began. All this was happening while we were enjoying sumptious desert cooked over the charcoal stove. Soon after, the water filter guy arrived and installed the outdoor water filter - by the way, the water is still murky!!! X-( 

Anyway, Roland came after that and installed the house number plate, and then we went through some defects list (e.g. the clogged drain). After a pizza lunch, we proceeded upstairs to put together all the IKEA furniture (book cases, TV rack, work table). That took up the entire afternoon, and we waited patiently for the furniture lorries to arrive. Around 7pm, the first lorry arrived, unloading the dining table, sofa set, altar and coffee table. Around 9pm, the second lorry arrived carrying the downstairs TV cabinet, console table and shoe rack. All ended around 9.30pm, and we went for Lok Lok supper.

Special thanks to all my family members who helped me pack stuff into boxes and cars and lorries, move stuff up and down and up and down and in and out, cook and clean and clean and cook... couldn't have done it without all of you!

There's still many boxes which are still packed up, and the house is in a mess, that I'll need to do some cleaning again. But, thankfully tomorrow's a holiday, so hopefully can do more stuff.

Oh ya, the bulat-bulat bedroom curtain rod came off the wall :( have to fill up the holes and re-drill... who can do ar??? Also, the doorbell suddenly did not work after the house number plate was drilled up. Sigh... the defects list just never ends right? :P

Violence!

Wow... Malaysians are really getting creative with their violent acts. I thought that this type of crime only happens in the movies. Looks like I was wrong!

Ipoh food

I suddenly had this craving to make a road trip up to Ipoh to savour all the famous Ipoh foods... hmm, maybe I'll do that on my next trip up north to Penang...

Oh crap, talking about Penang made me salivate, thinking about all the glorious Penang foods...

*DROOOOLLL*

Happy Anniversary!

Dearest... happy 2nd wedding anniversary :)

Dinner @ Pizza Uno

Pizza Uno, formerly known as Pizza Italia, recently moved to a spanking new 3-storey unit in USJ Taipan. Along with the move a significant price increase accompanies...

Anyway, we had an enjoyable, surprisingly not super filling dinner there. We started with Gambas con Ajo (shrimp in garlic) and cream of mushroom soup. The gambas was super fresh and springy, and the delicious drenching of olive oil over finely chopped garlics, chili, and other herbs brought out the superb texture of the shrimp. The musroom soup was normal, nothing fancy to shout about.

We had 2 main courses: Fettucine Napolitana (tomato based vegetarian pasta) and Aussie Pizza (salami, pepperoni, peppers, egg and cheese). The hand made fettucine was amazingly fresh as usual, while the pizza was just the right texture to hold in the hand. Not as wet as those made in Marco's, not too thin such as those from Brava Pizza (Asia Cafe). The parmesan was kind of "musty" smelling, but I suppose that's how cheese is supposed to smell like.

We finished with a lovely strawberry cheese cake dessert, which was quite small in size, but generously filling. The bill came up to RM80 for 2, quite reasonable I believe. Next time I'll try their other tapas (the crostini platter sounds delicious :)

Crostini Platter

toasted bread with garlic aioli beef bacon, smoked salmon with cream cheese, sauteed mixed mushrooms & mini bruschetta

McDonald's Prosperity Burger

This year, it really sucks because:

1) The value meal no longer bundled with Orange McFizz!

2) The burger size has shrunk!

3) The patty is too small!

4) The fresh onions don't come in slices; rather they are minced up :P

5) The price has increased!

6) It's not as spicy as I remember before!

Miyako Japanese Restaurant, Sheraton Subang

We were attracted by the 40% discount promotion with Citibank credit cards for the buffet dinner, that's why we decided to try it out.

Upon arrival, service was prompt because we were practically the only customers in the place. The initial spread of sashimi, sushi and fresh seafood was quite tantilizing. But moving further to the hot food proved to be disappointing - limited selections and no unagi! Can you imagine it: no unagi in a Japanese restaurant?!

The tempura shrimp was pretty OK, but the teppanyaki was salty to the hells. I suspect it's the salted butter they use to grill the seafood. The desserts were weird too. The only saving grace I suppose was the 40% discount. Would I go there again? I highly doubt it. Dining in Shogun would have been a better offer indeed...

Cupcakes...

I've seen several blogs writing about those cupcakes which are all the rage nowadays. All of them mention that they taste really good. I bought half a dozen today just to try. Indeed, they look very nice and colourful. But they taste really too sweet and after a few bites, it feels very "jelak".

Cupcakes are not so tasty after all...

Congratulations Sie Sing & Lily!

It's always a happy and exciting occassion when close friends decide to tie the knot. What more when both the bride and groom are close friends. It was a fun day and memorable night. Thanks for inviting us to share in your joyous moments. Congratulations Sie Sing & Lily!

The lovely couple...

The amazing friends...

This post is dedicated to the most sober drunk among all of us!

Gomen say I greedy wor...

Don't belif me? See la...

Crapz...

The software tool which we use suddenly had a license error after a hard PC restart, and now we can't do anything... that really sucks!

It's coming along quite nicely...

Summary of works completed:
- Tiling
- Lighting
- Grills and gates
- Upstairs flooring
- Windows
- Bathrooms

Works yet to be completed:
- Kitchen
- Painting
- Curtains

Stuff yet to be done:
- Furnitures

Aspiration

I want to write a song about meditation!

5 Aggregates of Clinging...

The Panca Khanda are:
Rupa - Matter
Vedana - Feeling
Sanna - Perception
Sankhara - Mental Formations
Vinnana - Consciousness

And these 5 constitute all conditioned things, and thus are Dukkha. Our ignorance, avijja, blocks us from knowing the true nature of existence, hence we are sent through the unbreaking chain that is paticca samuppada. However, if we can eradicate our avijja through developing wisdom, panna, then we will see that our existence is no more than these 5 aggregates, always changing, with no permanent entity, and unsatisfactory. Then we will be able to taste the sweet liberation of Nibbana!

Proof of immaturity and NBTD

Click the links to access the articles.

Proof 1

Proof 2

Paticca Samuppada

Avijja - Ignorance

Sankhara - Karmic Formations

Vinnana - Consciousness

Nama Rupa - Mind and Form

Ayatana - Sense Doors

Phassa - Feeling

Tanha - Craving

Upadana - Clinging

Bhava - Becoming

Jati - Birth

Marana - Death

Beli lampu pun beribu-ribu...

Seriously, who would've thought that lighting an entire house will cost thousands?!

PAS non muslim wing?

This announcement has interesting implications. For starters, the party name PAS (Islamic Party of Malaysia) will be a misnomer, as it will also have a non-muslim wing. What other possible implications will be at hand?

Perdana expensive to maintain?

That's according to the Perak State Government.

My opinion? I think the normal Perdanas are not expensive to maintain. Rather, it's the Perdana Executive version (essentially a "kereta potong" version of the original Perdana), the elongated version that is chopped up to modify the length of the car.

If properly serviced (and driven), the cars should not be so expensive to maintain, otherwise Proton will not be selling the car at all!

Obama Victory Speech

I finally watched US President-Elect Barack Obama's victory speech on the night of the US general elections. I must say that he is a very inspiring figure, and the speech itself was truly mesmerizing and it sent chills up my spine. He's a great orator, and a symbol of change to Americans and to the world.

I wonder if the day will come for us in this part of the world?

Recession is imminent...

The signs are showing. Governments all over the world are pumping money to revitalize the economy. Banks are lowering interest rates and increasing credit limits. Compulsory pension fund contributions are being reduced to encourage consumer spending. Hypermarkets are running 24/7 fire sales. And yet the populace are not buying it, preferring to safekeep cash in these troubled times.

Happy Birthday ELSF! :P

Happy wishes of birthday celebration to my "good friend" ELSF who celebrates her 28th (really?!) birthday today. 

Here's a song for you :)

Obama Wins!

Heartiest congratulations to the people of the USA.

Indeed, it's Change We Can Believe In :)

I need to be focused, stop procrastinating and start doing the group assignment!

The title says it all...

I know this guy...

Aaron Gill from MMU is now an entrepeneur!

Recession

What is recession?

When economy is suddenly affected by drastic changes (e.g. collapse of the US stock market), people are more reluctant to spend money. Hence, businesses have to reduce prices to encourage more consumer spending. But in order to keep prices low, they have to retrench staff or reduce employee salaries. Thus people have less money to spend. The cycle continues.

And here our minister is smiling because our hypermarkets are reducing prices...

Car sticker...

Today while driving to office, I saw a car sticker that says this:

UiTM: Hak Melayu & Bumiputra

WTF?!?!?!?!?!

Read this article, and then decide for yourself regarding these key phrases and what organization should they refer to...

- consistently broken laws, and their illegal demonstrations turned violent and incited racial hatred

- causing a commotion at the open house

- disseminated messages that could cause racial and religious tension. They created fear among the people. They even threatened people’s lives

- groups that propagate extremism and stir up racial and religious tension

Again, anti-radiation people...

I suggest that you read this letter, then think about the following points:

The real problem is that the people who install this equipment have the nasty habit of hooking up a much larger antenna to extract a greater range. This is really danger-ous.

How is it dangerous? Greater range is dangerous? Give some studies please!

The second situation is to do with the characteristics of microwave antennas. Generally, the smaller the diameter of the antenna, the higher the frequency and the less control there is over radiation being spilled outwards.

What this means is that the dish itself radiates energy from the sides and this is known as the sidelobe performance. If a one-metre dish is hung inappropriately on a building, the sidelobe radiation can spill over into the rooms to the side and below.

In one case, four of these high-gain WiFi antennas radiated into three condominiums and caused endless health problems for the occupants.

Please provide some technical specifications on the uncontrollable side lobes of high gain microwave antennas. Please also provide the case where 4 high gain WiFi antennas caused "endless health problems for the occupants". Otherwise, stop sputing nonsense.

There was a prior situation on this concerning Melbourne University where the top two floors were emptied due to an unusual number of cancers. All of the equipment met regulatory requirements.

Please provide the reference to this incident, indicating the link between the RF emission and the incidents of cancer. Otherwise, don't mistake correlation for causation.

Seriously.. why so scared to progress? Remember that by the time the radiated power from antennas reach you, it has degraded to such miniscule values (0.0000001W!) that it's basically harmless. If anything, you should be more concerned about the radiation from your mobile phones when you're talking for hours!

Gone-Lah

Bye bye...

Overspilling petrol pump...

Today while pumping petrol @ Shell station in SS17, the petrol pump actually overflowed, i.e. the safety mechanism failed to kick in. I almost got drenched in petrol. Luckily I was not standing nearby!

The insult...

Scenario: you have been a partner in a coalition of parties that make up the ruling government of the day. Due to unfavourable circumstances, your party had a fallout with the majority party, and are mulling pulling out of the coalition.

And here's what your senior party members call you: Parti Perosak!

Have I lost the ability to blog?

Seriously... these few days the quality of my blog postings has deteriorated to a level where even I am ashamed to read my own blog!

Am I really that terrible nowadays? I don't have the inspiration to write anything meaningful. Not to mention the current crackdown on bloggers who even hint on anything remotely related to the political scene in Malaysia.

And added with the many things occupying my brain such as the house renovation, travel for work, Buddhist assignment project which I have not even started anything yet, etc.

So isn't is forgivable that I've not updated this blog with anything worth reading? :P

Holiday...

I can't wait for my holiday :)

It'll be in a place of tranquility...

Where I can just sit around and do nothing and pamper myself...

LRT in Subang Jaya? No Thanks!

Do we really need LRT in Subang Jaya? What's wrong with a good and reliable buses and taxis? This is starting to look more and more like a money milking machine, rather than a proper public transportation system...

Saya bantah kaw kaw!!

916

........

tak jadi lah.............

Zimbabwe

Why is my headline today about an African country thousands of kilometers away from my homeland?

Well, it's not hard to draw parallels. I don't think I need to elaborate any further. Just look at how the international community is looking at my country today.

It sucks...

Dealing with incompetence...

What happens when you have to deal with incompetence? Not just incompetent people, but incompetent organizations, incompetent processes - just pure incompetence everywhere you go?

image used without permission

Frustration sets in, knowing that you can't do much about it. Sure you can intervene for a temporary solution. But once you get out, the situation returns to status quo. No improvement takes place. All your hard work goes to zero and the cycle starts all over again.

Incompetent people get on your nerves because they cannot do anything, and can't seem to learn anything.

Incompetent organizations screw you by doing things which go against your very wishes, e.g. installing useless CEO's.

Incompetent processes destroy the foundation of a properly working organization, cause frustration, and breed incompetent people and organizations.

Incompetent people, organizations and processes contribute to the increasing incompetence in the world.

Aaaaaaarrrghhh!!!!

It's raining...

Terrible weather here...

Some things to consider...

When building a modern kitchen, it's common to ask ourselves what we want to install for our cooking area. Typically, nowadays we want a combination of cooker hood, gas hob and built in oven. The problem is, I have zero knowledge on these things! So how to choose the correct product?

This is how we spend our money...

Out of an annual budget of RM200 billion, almost 75% is purely operational. What this means is that we only have RM50 billion to pump into development, foreign investment, and social welfare. A cursory glance at the trend graph below shows that in just 10 years, operational expenditure has increased by 300%, indicating the critical degree of inefficiency and bloat in the government today.

We need to see a break down of this RM150 billion, to identify where this money really goes to!

Break...

I need a break...

WALL-E

Absolutely adorable! You don't believe that robots can fall in love? Have a go with this amazing movie from Pixar. Yet another success to a string of successes in their belt! :)

Canon goes green?

Spotted this billboard while driving along the Federal Highway... I wonder what it is?

Petty & Merajuk...

Update 29-Aug-08 1.08pm:

Hannah has responded. You go, girl!

Original:

For someone who isn't even elected by the people of this nation, this guy just wants to be petty about seating arrangements and even merajuk and wanted to walk out of the meeting...

Yet another trip to Makati...

I'm bracing for it...

Stuck for 3 hours...

Today I was stuck in heavy traffic for 3 hours, because of the dress rehearsals for our Merdeka Day parade...

Crap...

Merdeka!

This is a historic day, indeed...

Olympics and the...

Well, the Beijing 2008 Olympics have finally come to a close, with a very meager closing ceremony (in comparison to the outstanding and excellent opening ceremony held 16 days earlier).

Nothing much of note, except the unexpected appearance of someone who looks very similar to... well, I'll let the pictures do the talking. You tell me who that looks like!

Last few hours to spend in the airport...

Yes. Time flies. Am having a split headache right now. Not sure why. Maybe it's all that pineapple juice. Maybe it's the crappy 2 cup noodles I had for "lunch". Maybe it's the lack of sleep yesterday.

Whatever it is, traveling in this country is not so easy.

Blogging from Manila...

Am on a quick business trip here for the entire week. Might not have time to do any updates (not that I've been updating frequently anyway :P)

First impressions: quite third world, but the hotel prices are super expensive...

Diana Krall!

OMG. Diana Krall is coming to KL!



I really love her amazing vocals, piano skills, and coupled with an excellent song selection. Diana Krall is one heck of a Jazz artiste. And now she's coming to KL for a performance.

The only problem? Tickets start at RM288! OMG, what a killer!

INCOVAR Dinner & Dance

How many years has it been since you last met all your friends from INCOVAR?

Wouldn't it be nice to gather again and relive those special memories?

Make time for those who matter...

Come to the INCOVAR Dinner & Dance, happening this 6th September 2008 at Holiday Villa Subang Jaya. For tickets, contact MJ (012-3517615).

Drowning (2)

I am drowning, but I don't call out for help
I am drowning, but no one offers their hand, but rather only their mouths
I am drowning, but I have no hands
I am drowning, but nobody cares
I am drowning, but so what?

Drowning...

I'm drowning...

99/1

We spend 99% of our time complaining about the 1% dissatisfaction we face in life, and we spend only 1% of our time feeling thankful for the 99% satisfaction we have.

We spend 99% of our energy pinpointing the 1% faults of others, and only 1% of our time to recognize and reward the 99% good achievements.

We spend 99% of our money on the 1% luxury items that we don't need, and only 1% of our money on the 99% of basic needs.

Our priorities are definitely messed up.

Saya sudah dapat kunci!

!!!!!!!!!!

Why?

Why I still have not got my keys? :(

Filmography & Animation Workshop

This is Fooch.

This is MEtz Team.

They are studying very seriously.

They also got some acting and camera work tips.

Good session, everyone!

Perjalanan Ke Tengah Bumi

One word - forgettable

Two words - don't bother

Three words - watch something else

Four words - don't waste your time

Five words - watch The Dark Knight instead

Going to the land of smiles again...

Flying to Bangkok again next week... for a short trip...

What makes a hero?

OMG. What just happened? Did I really watch a movie about a masked and caped crusader who dons a rubber costume and fights bad guys?

Or did I just witness a powerful interplay of action, philosophy, psychology, criminal investigation, tragedy and heroism, condensed into a "long" 2.5 hours of pure cinematic joy?


What makes a hero a hero? Is it the fact that he dons a costume and fights bad guys and saves the world? Or is he one who awakens the complacent into action by his outrageous antics and appetite for chaos? Or is he the one who forms an unofficial alliance between law makers and law breakers with the hope of bringing further peace to the nation? Or is he the one who charges through with the laws of the land in hopes of utilizing the justice process to nab serious criminals? Or is he the one who stands by another in times of difficulty, often offering nothing but comfort and silence? Or is he the one who supplies incredible gadgetry to enhance law enforcement and vigilante's modus operandi?

Yes, The Dark Knight attempts to ask all these questions, and by large it succeeds. Henceforth, I am labeling it as the most intriguing movie I've watched this year!

What is Buddhism?

When Buddha attained Nirvana, he spend 49 days meditating and just experiencing pure bliss and supreme happiness, untainted by any negative thoughts or feelings. Only after that 7 weeks of enjoyment, he decided to spread the truth.

But what did he teach?

Essentially, Buddhism can be summed up in these 4 points:
1) Dukkha (Suffering)
2) Samudaya (Origin)
3) Nirodha (Cessation)
4) Magga (Way)

All of existence is suffering. From the moment we are born till we grow old, fall sick and eventually die. Not getting what we want, getting what we do not want. All these are forms of suffering.

Suffering arises from the delusion that there is a self, a permanent entity called "I". When there is this delusion of "I", then there is the delusion of "My". When there is this delusion of "My", then we start to grasp at things. We crave for things. We crave for sensual pleasures, for being, and for not being. All of this promotes greed. When we do not get what we want, we become angry and upset. Hatred arises, and we become deluded all over again that someone has hurt us.

But Buddha also said that there is an opposite state from suffering, and it is called Nirvana. It is the complete absence of craving, a state of mind where nothing can make one unhappy, and he is always constantly in a perfect state of bliss, of pure happiness. And this state is achievable by everyone!

How to achieve this perfect state of mind called Nirvana? By studying, practising and realizing the Noble Eightfold Path, which comprises of Right UTSALEMC: Understanding, Thought, Speech, Action, Livelihood, Effort, Mindfulness, Concentration. By studying, one gains awareness. By practising, one learns through example. By realizing, one is freed from Samsara.

So, Buddhism is as simple as that. And the Buddha is such a master teacher that he can sum up his entire teaching in one word: Dukkha. By reflecting on this word, you realize that everything in this world is Dukkha. And by reflecting further, you realize the cause of Dukkha is this delusion of a permanent self, and the constant craving for material things, and the dissatisfaction when you do not get the things you want. But Buddha also says that there is also an opposite state called Nirvana which is the complete absence of Dukkha. And this state is achievable not by an external agent or god, but within each and every one of us. And not only that, he even taught us the path, step by step, how to escape from Dukkha and attain Nirvana. Wow, Buddha is cool!

Tahniah, Pelancong Angkasa!

Yes, you have been honoured by the Royalty from Negeri Sembilan for being paid to blast off into space, pose in several photographs, come home to write a book about your experience, and being used in the recent General Elections campaign.

Congratulations, indeed.

Headache

After taking several doses of Panadol yesterday, I managed to sleep well, but right now I have a weird headache attack. This, compounded with the weird weather outside (yes it's very weird), news of Anwar's and RPK's arrest, and global economic slowdown, all potent ingredients for a mindblowing headache.

What am I to do now, but to find a quiet corner and snooze? :)

Fever

Yesterday I was feeling feverish immediately after having my lunch, and the feeling continued on into the customer meeting, then packing myself into a crowded LRT and driving back to Subang, having dinner but not feeling full, then going to Asia Cafe for discussion, then coming home to watch Anwar vs Shabery and finally bathing and sleeping. Today I feel better, but still have weird pangs of feverish bouts...

Life sucks

What does it mean to truly love somebody?

All the below are listed in the order of increasing difficulty to practise.

Selfish love - when one loves another because he wants to feel happy and wants the other half for himself only and forever

Selfless love (unconditional, Metta) - when one loves another for no reason except to provide that loving kindness without prejudice or condition

Compassionate love (Karuna) - when one loves another who is of less fortune than himself and he feels happy to provide that love

Altruistic love (Mudita) - when one feels happy about another's good fortune and celebrates the happiness and achievements of others

No love (equanimity, Upekkha) - when one is unperturbed by the outside and inside influences/changes, when there is no love, no hate, no self, no others, no thing

Blogging from work...

Yes, it's 8.25pm and I'm still at work...

This life is not so balanced after all...

The weather...

So nice to sleep this morning...

MP or PM?

Update 30 June 2008, 5.17pm:


This test confirms that I am more of a Melancholic than a Phlegmatic...

Original:

Am I Melancholic/Phlegmatic or Phlegmatic/Melancholic?

Technical Problem?

Was it really a technical problem during the Transformation scene? Or was I just unlucky?

Coffee withdrawal syndrome...

I've abstained from taking coffee for the past 3 days in order to flush my system of the overdose of caffeine built up over the last few weeks.

Now I am feeling drowsy and not energetic, and I really need coffee!!!

A strong black espresso...


Or a fancy latte...


Or a Frappucino...


Just all sorts of coffee really!

Russel...

May you gain a better rebirth...

I so want to blog about this!

Guess which of the following Facebook feeds is newsworthy :)

Defragging my brain

I am losing my life. Past 3 weeks have been hell for me. Going through submission after resubmission after resubmission of the deliverable. Working 12 hour days everyday, with no time for my personal life and also my family. The work has make me so terrible a person that I even ignore those people closest to me. I become harsh with them. I go cranky, I go crazy. I totally give too much of my time and energy to my work that i forget the people close to me beside me crying for my attention and my love. Now I let it all out. I feel better but then my brain is still stuffed with so many things now that I need to sit in front of the computer to trash it all out and try to make sense of it all. Some more with the big bombshell that was dropped recently that make me realize how cruel this world is. They say that life is suffering, but always we think about it in a intellectual point of view. Only when I really experience it for myself then I really can agree with this statement. Recently life has been nothing but suffering. So much so that the people whom I love really can see the bad difference that has happened to me. I become easily agitated. I start scolding people and using really harsh words and tones. I don't bother about the world and the people around me. I am internalizing all my problems and stop all communication with the outside world. People misunderstand me. People misinterpret me. People think I am trying to avoid things. They think I am deliberately shutting myself out. But that is all happening on a subconscious level. Somehow being the Phlegmatic that I am, I try not to cause or be involved in any major confrontation. I try to just let it be and go with the flow and try to be happy go lucky about things. But when the depression really sinks in, that's where my Melancholic behaviour comes out. I start to keep all my feelings to myself. The outside world does not know what I think. I become a walking wall of silence. Nobody hears what I have to say. Because I don't say it. I expect the world around me to know what I am thinking but I don't want them to know. I feel as if I am bottling up all my emotions and hopefully they will dissolve into nothing. But sometimes the feelings are just too much. All the pent up energy has to be released somehow. And so the explosion begins. I feel as if all the pent up feelings released suddenly like a torrent of tsunami rushing through all the barriers, tearing down all the protection that I put around me to shield myself from the realities of life. I release myself to the world. I show my true face. And people around me notice me. Finally. I am now recognized. People know my predicament. But how long can it last? Before long I am back to my normal mode of operation. So, in the end I am back to square one. Nobody will know me as long as I am Melancholic. And I choose not to let anyone know by my Phlegmatic nature. Melancholic Phlegmatic is very potently dangerous. I always need a Sanguine person next to me to cheer me up. And so I have that someone. But sometimes that Sanguine becomes a Choleric and that's where I am scared. But somehow I can survive. Because those 2 traits actually help to balance me and offer me a differing point of view. So I become a better person because of this. There's just so many things happening in my mind now, that I can't seem to write anything more concrete. These past few days I have been operating on auto pilot. I don't even have time to stop and think about what I am doing, how I am talking, or what other people think of me. I was so hypnotized and engrossed by my desire to complete my deliverable that I choose to ignore all the realities of the world and concentrate on my internal workings to complete my task. Now I take a step back, and realize how foolish I have been. Finally I have released my energy, and I will be reclaiming my life back from the world. I want to be back in control of my life. I want to be in control of the people whom I love. I want to be alive again. Give me back my life!

I'm trying out for the free Evangelion 1.0 passes!

Garrrrrrrrr... git yer lazy bums crankin you lotta crab shticks!..... oh, wait a minute... I must be in the wrong movie set!

Help me?

Anyone can answer these questions. Just put your reply in the comments box. Thanks!

1) Can you describe an incident in which you had to manage a difficult situation or difficult team members/customers?
2) How did you feel during the incident?
3) What steps did you take to manage the situation/people?
4) What benefits did that bring about to the situation, and also to your personal development?
5) How do you think other people can learn from your experience?

Stressed out like crap

How I feel now...